From One Princess to Another.. :)

Well, here I am again! Except, this time, we're even closer to the Princess! It's unbelievable that there is less than 90 days until we're in Disney World, walking around, and showing off our new bling! The time went by so quickly, and it brings on the feeling of excitement. But for some of us, it brings on an additional, uneasy feeling... that feeling of "Only 90 days?! Crap!"

For me, it's more excitement, and a little bit of nervousness. This is my first half, after all. And I want to enjoy every moment of it, but I also want to be completely prepared in being able to finish it. I think we all put stresses on ourselves to make sure we have good time, and good intervals. But this is training- we're all going to be hard on ourselves. We want to be our best. It's going to be different when we're all there, at the starting line in our corrals. The actual moment we've spent hours, days, weeks, and months training and preparing for. And right there, right at that moment, we'll know that we got this. 13.1 miles is nothing. It's a nice run down the road, characters included. It's pictures, friends, smiles, and fun. All of those torturous runs, those freezing cold runs, the pains and aches, and the injuries will then prove that it's all been worth it.

I am beyond grateful for my fellow Princesses, and my newfound friendships I've developed over these last few months. I am running this race solo, if you want to be specific about it. And I will admit that though I'm very active on the Princess page, I still felt alone. But in the last few weeks, that's changed. I know I won't be alone. I know I'll have my fellow Princesses next to me, ready to have fun, and earn new bling. We'll be there to support each other to the finish line, just we have been all of this time. It's nice to not feel alone in this. To know that we're all in this together, for the same thing. Some of us are quicker, some of us are slower. There are beginner runners, intermediate, and the ones who seem to do every half imaginable (at least in the eyes of the beginners lol), and that doesn't matter. We're all the same. We're Princesses. Whether we're running for ourselves, for a friend, a charity, or whatever.. at the end of the day, we're all Princesses. And at the end of the day, I'm blessed to call you all my friends.

I thank you for every piece of advice, every smile, every sprinkle of Pixie Dust, and every word of encouragement you all have given me. I know I wouldn't have been able to do this without any of you. I'm so happy to share this experience with you all, and I can't wait for the day we blow up the Princess page with pictures of ourselves finally rockin our bling!

As I sit here, 7 miles under my belt - the farthest I've ever gone.. I say Here's to Us - May we continue to have kick ass runs. May we always find comfort and encouragement in one another, and may we all have an amazing time earning our most wanted, most deserved bling!

Keep kicking butt, Princesses!

Love, hugs, and Pixie Dust!

oxoxoxoxo.

A bump in my Fairytale..

Happy November all!

It's been a crazy week here on the East Coast. Hurricane Sandy hit the coast pretty hard, and recovery is long and painful. And the fact that there is another Noreaster headed this way, it's not looking good. Seeing pictures and video of it really puts a damper on everything. And it really hasn't helped my running.

I know I shouldn't make excuses, or blame the storm for my blahness.. but I really have been just.. blah. I hate this feeling. Ever since I had my wisdom teeth pulled and I took off those 2 weeks, getting back into the swing of things has been a lot harder than I thought. I haven't been able to complete my short runs whatsoever, and I only had one really good long run - which was the Saturday that I cleared myself to run again. Since then, it's gone downill. I really hope this is just a temporary bump in the road.

I want to be positive again. I can get excited like there's no tomorrow over Disney, and thinking about the race. But when it comes to training.. its like a black cloud finds me and makes me so unmotivated. I know I'm harder on myself than I should be, because regardless, I'm doing it. I'm out and up and doing what I need to. But at the end of it all, I always get down on myself and saying that I could've done better. Ah, the mindset of an athlete. It's really awesome lol.

There is 106 days until Jeff and I leave for Princess weekend. That's crazy! I can't believe it's just a little over 3 months to go! I'm just hoping that as it gets closer, and more things are revealed for the race, I'll get even more excited and that'll prompt me to get my motivation back! I need to find my groove again.. I had a really good one going before my stupid surgery lol. Though I did run today, and get 33 minutes in. But I wanted to get at least 4 miles in, and I only got in 2.. so eh. But I haven't been able to complete my 30 min runs.. so getting to 33 minutes was good. I ran on the treadmill, and actually ran at least 4-5 minutes before power walking. And my breathing was really good. So I'm wondering if I should just do my short runs on the treadmill knowing that I'll get it done, and then do my long runs outside. But I realized today that I really dislike treadmills now.. though it helped me breathe better, and I ran longer.. it's not the same. I like going outside, and training on actual terrain and whatnot. I don't know.. I guess we'll find out Thursday on my next short run.. looking to get 2 more miles in.

Ah well.. off to watch some more Big Bang Theory, and snuggle with my sick puppy. <3

Until next time, Princesses!

PS - If you have some extra motivating Pixie Dust, please send some my way! :)

Burning Rubber (soles) Once Again.. :)

Hello, my fellow Princesses! Happy Monday! :)

I hope all of you enjoyed your weekend, and had great runs!

I, for one, had a wonderful run! It felt SO GREAT to be back out there! I do have to say, while I was getting stir crazy for those 2 weeks, I really did need the rest. It helped a lot. I wasn't in pain, and I was able to keep the 1:1 interval the entire 4.5 miles. I averaged a little over 14 minutes, which for my first time back out there, is really good!

I will admit, at first, when I saw my average time, I got frustrated. But then I had to remind myself that I did take 2 weeks off, and that I could've done a lot worse. And it can only get better from here! I'm so excited to be running again, and can't wait to get out there tomorrow for my short run.

I do need to find a path/trail that is more flat than what I've been running. I do know that it is affecting my time. There are 2 hills on my path that aren't very forgiving, and there is NO way I can run up them. They're not gradual, either. They just... happen lol. So I'll have to do some research and see where else I can run, though I do love one of the paths. We'll see. It's only going to get prettier, since fall is really starting to kick in around here. I love this time of year!

I also can't believe we're less than 4 1/2 months away from Princess weekend! That's so crazy. It just seems like once I registered, time has decided to fly by. I'm actually okay with that, though. I'm so excited to go, to run, and more than anything, to meet my fellow Princesses! I hope that I'll have a chance to meet up with some of the awesome ladies I've had the blessing to talk to over Facebook.

Everything is slooooowly starting to come together for Princess weekend too! I ordered my tutu, my sneakers, and I already have my tiaras. I'm waiting for the Facebook buttons to come in the mail, and I'll be ordering my skirt soon for the Royal Family 5k. I can't wait for it all to be done, so all I need to do is pack it all up and get moving!

Well, it's time for me to get some things done around here, and get ready to go out to get things for my costume for the Costume 5k I'm doing this weekend with Meaghan! So excited for that too!

Until next time.

oxoxoxoxoxo.

Waiting to dust off the glass sneakers...

Okay, I just have to say.. getting your wisdom teeth pulled really sucks!

I had my surgery last Thursday, and it actually went very well. It felt like it only took about 15 minutes from the time I sat down until the time I got home. I really don't remember anything that happened between all of that lol. I wasn't really in pain until Saturday. That was my worst day.

But it's now Tuesday, and I'm still hurting. I'm trying my best not to take my pain medication, because honestly, I hate taking medicine. Especially prescription medication. But I get to that point where I can't fight it anymore, and I have to do something. I'm wondering how long it's going to take for me not to not have pain anymore. It decreases as the day goes on, but it's just an annoying soreness.

The worst thing about my surgery and recovery is the fact that I haven't been able to run. First it was my foot, and then the surgery.. It's been over a week since I've ran and it's honestly driving me crazy. I miss it. I actually miss it. That's something I never thought I would be saying. I was never really meant to be a runner, or at least that's what I thought. And I still do not think I am a runner. I don't know how far I need to go for me to think of myself as a runner. Maybe one day, I'll have an epiphany and that'll change lol.

I plan on getting back into running though, on Saturday, for my long run. It's 4.5 miles. I'm not going to push it. If I have to walk a mile, I'll walk a mile. I just want to get back out there. I have to remind myself that my long runs are not about time. I think that's my biggest fight with myself.. I'm all about time for some reason. I guess the fact that I have to maintain a 16 min mile is drilled into my head. I want to finish. I don't want to get swept. I want to have time for characters and all of that. But it's not something I should be really worrying about. I have over 4 months to make it better. My time will get better. I also need to remember too, that restarting means taking it easy..and walking isn't against the law. Besides, I have to get ready for my next couple of 5ks coming up!! I'm so excited! :)

Okay.. off to take my antibiotics, and rest. I can't wait for Saturday lol.

Until next time my fellow Princesses!

oxoxoxo.

Time to fight my own Evil Queen...

Happy Monday! Happy 1st of October!

I can't believe it's October already. I absolutely LOVE this time of year! I wait all year for my hoodies and my uggs, and we finally have the perfect weather to break both out. :)

I've also experienced running in cooler weather. I really enjoyed it. I wore a long sleeve tech shirt, and it was perfect. I ran my long run on Saturday.. 3.5 miles. That's the farthest I've ever ran before, so I was pretty proud of myself. I hit 2 miles in 27 minutes and was feeling great. And then it happened. I turned around to complete my run, and I hit the wind. Hard. The 3rd mile felt like it took forever. But I completed it. I finished. And that's all that matters. Though at the time, I didn't feel that way. I was a little upset with my time, until I was reminded that I finished. Who else got up early on a Saturday to run?

I have to remind myself of that when I don't feel like getting out on my running days. Or on the days where my timing isn't where I want it to be. All that matters is that I finish. I mean, it's that simple. That is my goal for the Princess. My only goal. So why am I putting so much pressure of being this runner that I'm not (yet)? Why am I making myself miserable by judging myself on time? Time isn't going to matter to me in February. What's going to matter to me is that I have fun, I meet my fellow Princesses, I have fun, I meet characters, I have fun, I FINISH, and oh, did I mention have fun?

I always do this to myself. I put these unrealistic pressure on myself to be better. And yes, in the long run, it works. I get better. I push myself to do what I need to do to enjoy myself later on. I mean, I won't let myself go to the point where I say "yeah, I really don't need to do this.." and just slack off. I will push myself enough. I think I need to figure out where "enough" really is. Because I don't want to get myself to the point where I no longer enjoy running. And I will admit that Saturday, on my 3rd mile, I started to dislike running. Because I felt like I was failing. But my mind was only on my time. It wasn't on my distance. It wasn't the hill I had to battle going up. It was the time issue. I really need to get myself off of that lol.

I thought I realized that this training was really all mental back when I registered for the Princess. But as we get closer (just under 5 months.. eeeeeek!), I really am seeing that it's a mental battle. More than ever. I guess because I am counting down. And I am seeing how much time I have left. And it's more pressure on myself. I am truly, my own worst enemy. Hahaha.

On a good note, I am getting better at interval training. I'm doing the 1:1 run:walk ratio, and it's really a good interval for me. If I could only get my breathing down, I'd be set. I have no idea why my breathing has all of the sudden sucked. I guess because I was trained to breathe on a treadmill.. and going outside, is a completely different story. It's definitely not climate controlled outside lol. And especially Saturday, running outside, my nose was running, the wind was in my face. So it's definitely something I need to work on. I know that I'll definitely enjoy running more than I do once I get that down.

Okay, on to go rest my foot, since it's still hurting me. Until next time, my fellow Princesses. :)

oxoxoxoxoxo.

In Need of a Little Pixie Dust..

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while.. between my birthday, Jeff's vacation, Fireman's Convention, and all of that fun stuff, I haven't had a chance to get on here..

Not that I really have anything to report. I feel really bad. Running just hasn't been priority to me, and that makes me upset. I'm doing this for me, to change my life, to accomplish goals. I need to just suck it up on the days where I just really don't want to run.

I did do a "long" run this past Saturday on the boardwalk while we were in Wildwood for the convention. I didn't run as long as I wanted to, but I did run a 12 min mile, which to me, is great. I also ran yesterday, but I have no idea what I did because my app wasn't working. And I ran today to make up for yesterday's app mishap lol. I ended up doing 1.03 miles in 14:53. My worst time yet. Not to mention, I've learned the hard way about taking rest days. I was in so much pain, and I'm actually still really sore when I walk. I know that had to interfere with today's run. No more back to back running trying to make up for skipping days, or stupid apps.

I am happy to say that this weekend, I'm running my own 5k. A friend of mine and fellow Princess is hosting a virtual 5k. All I need to do is run a 5k whenever I can, and then donate to Leukemia and Lymphoma, and I get a medal for finishing. I think it's a really great idea. She is raising money for something very, very close to my heart, especially with the recent news about one of my family members, and it'll be my very first medal. :) Meaghan is running with me too, so she gets her chance at a medal. And I know running with Meaghan will make me push myself. She's a really great friend, and one hell of a running partner. :) Stay tuned for a picture of my medal when I get it, and maybe even my time.. if it's good enough lol.

We're 4 days away from being 5 months out until the Princess. I have to say, I'm honestly really, really nervous about it. I'm afraid I'll get swept by the buses. I'm afraid I won't be able to finish. I know I need to get out of that mindset, and keep doing what I'm doing. I just have that beginner's fear - but I know.. like with everything else in my life, if I keep doing what I'm doing, and I just keep ... running (hahaha.. Finding Nemo moment there.. sorry lol), that I know I will get better. It's going to take a little time, and I know I have that time. So I really shouldn't be worried. I just need to get over this anxiety hump, and move it! :)

Alright, well, this is going to be a short entry.. I'm exhausted, and my legs are still killing me.. so it's time to go rest up and relax for Saturday. I hope I won't be away from here that long again. I mean, I do have my own 5k to recap, after all! :)

Until next time, my fellow Princesses!

oxoxoxoxoxo.

Princesses look good in any color...

And THIS princess was rocking EVERY color of the rainbow!

I'm so proud to announce that I kicked off my birthday week and ran my very first 5k ever yesterday! What made it more awesome was that it was the Color Run! I haven't had so much fun like that in such a long time! It's running - not my strongest suit, nor my favorite thing to do. But this is a totally different experience, and one of the best I've ever encountered in my life.

This time last year, if you were to ask me to participate in a 5k run, I honestly probably would've rolled my eyes, snickered at you, and would've said "yeah, okay. let me get right on that". I never thought in my life that I would be a runner. I never thought I would get to that point in my life, that I would be able to say .. yep.. I did it. I ran my first ever 5k. And now, a year later, I can't wipe the smile off of my face from participating yesterday.

It was BEYOND amazing. The feelings that I had yesterday, and even today, are undescribable. I was nervous yesterday morning. I had emotions going every which way. I was happy, excited, and pumped. But I was also anxious, nervous, and doubtful. That was before I got to the start line. Once we started, I felt a sensation of energy and motivation.. all I could think was - you got this. You worked your butt off for the past year getting where you are today.. do it, have fun, get colored! And off I went.. RUNNING. It was an amazing feeling. I can't tell you the last time I ran outside.. for FUN. I can't wait to train outside more. It's a completely different perspective than running on the "dreadmill". I wasn't staring at ESPN, or a white wall. I was watching people as I passed them, and some as they passed me. I was moving. And nothing was getting in my way.

I did walk most of the 5k, because some of the track was just gravel, and as much as I wanted to run, I also wanted to finish.. without injury. If you know me, you know I hurt myself just standing up lol. (its true.. I've sprained my ankle getting up off the ground the wrong way from sitting indian style). So I walked. But I made it a point to jog/run to the beginning of every color zone, regardless of the terrain. So I did. And everytime I got blasted with a color, it was like a reward for running to my focal point. I loved it.

And I will say, I didn't run alone. I had my friend, Meaghan, with me, cheering me on and supporting me throughout the entire 5k. She ran when I wanted to run, and she walked when I wanted to walk. She kept track of every mile and let me know how much further I had to go. We even jumped the guardrail and decided to revisit the orange color zone for a minute or two lol.

When we got towards the finish line, I told Meaghan that I wanted to run through. I was ready to finally say I completed my first 5k. She said, "okay, let's do it", and I started running. She kept yelling "I'm chasing you.. keep going!" ..and I felt myself run faster. I reached the finish line, ran through it, turned around and hugged her. The feeling of accomplishment was so unbelievable. At that moment, I wanted to do it all over again. I couldn't believe that right then and there, one of my dreams had come true. Right then and there.. at that moment, I became a runner.

I've taken 2 showers since yesterday afternoon, and I still have color stained on my skin. And I don't mind it at all. I still can't wipe the smile off of my face when I think about yesterday. It was such an awesome experience, and they're right - it's definitely the happiest 5k on Earth! I can't wait to participate in next year's Color Run in Philly.. just a little closer to home lol.

I do want to thank Meaghan again for going with me, and for supporting me every single, literal, step of the way. I couldn't have done it without her. She is an awesome person, and I'm so happy I got to share my very first 5k with her! :)

Okay, well I'm off to get ready for Day 2 of my birthday week. I hope all of my fellow Princesses continue to have a great holiday weekend!

Until next time! :)

oxoxoxoxoxo.

If the Sneaker Fits...

Okay, fellow princesses, I have a confession. I've been slacking. Big time. (let the disappointment commence.... okay, time's up).

I haven't ran consistently in a while. Life has pretty much gotten it the way. Is it an excuse? To me, yes, it is. Between my car problems, my husband injuring himself.. and well, it's life. The C25K app is pretty much pointless to me now. I stopped at 4 weeks, and I don't feel like it was helping anyway. So I've decided to start training with the Galloway program, which is specifically made for the Princess.

Thankfully, we still have 6 months to go. And though I don't want to wait that long .. it IS Disney after all.. I'm glad I have all of this time to train. :)

I'm getting back on my clean eating, and even though I just restarted with it today, I feel good, and pretty energized. So as long as I stick with it, I think I'll do just fine. :) I also have a great friend who is running the Princess too.. and she is challenging me. BIG TIME. Which I really love. I need the pushing.. it motivates me more. I just really, really hope I get to meet her in person in Disney! :)

And since I don't think I'll be writing until after this weekend... wish me luck and fun! I'll be "running" my first 5k!! This weekend is the color run! I'm SO excited! It's such an awesome way to kick off my birthday week! I have to go to AC Moore and get a white t-shirt. I want to decorate somehow and put it on there that it's my birthday.. we'll see how it works out lol.

Okay.. I'm off to do some more laundry and start the evening routine. And I promise to post at least one picture from this weekend!

Until next time..

Hugs and kisses to all of the Princesses! :)

oxoxoxoxo.

A dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

..And I've made one of those dreams come true! I'm so excited and happy to finally say..

I'M OFFICIALLY REGISTERED FOR DISNEY'S PRINCESS HALF MARATHON!!

Wooooo!! There is no turning back now! :)

I really can't wait for this run. Only 195 days until I'm in Disney World running for my medal. I've been training harder lately, but only on my running. I haven't been cross training because my calves have been in too much pain. I should be starting week 4 day, but I've decided to take a day off from running and rest my legs. I wouldn't be worried, but there's a difference between muscles being sore, and straight shooting pain. So my legs get a Friday off. But tomorrow, I'm hoping to get right back on and start week 4 with a bang. The last 3 weeks of training have been pretty difficult, and I know I should actually be on week 5 or 6, but I'm okay with where I am. It's getting a little easier with breathing, but I'm still having trouble with it. I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to run longer than 90 seconds since week 3 has you running longer, but I did it. It feels good to know I've trained myself to run a good length of time. And though it wasn't the full 3 minutes straight, I'm still proud of myself, and I know I'll get there.

I'm also finally feeling the consequences of the treadmill.. it's tedious. I feel like I'm running for a lot longer than I really am, so I can't wait to get outside and start training. Of course, once this weather cools down and decides what to do, I'll start running outside. But for now, I'll have to deal with running.. well.. nowhere. lol. I think that the color run will be my first outside running session. I'm so excited to do the color run. It'll be my first 5k, and I think it's a perfect one since it's not really performance based, but more having fun. And I'll get to feel the sensation of being in a race crowd, and seeing how long it takes to start spacing out and whatnot. I think it's a great first 5k to complete and help me train more for the Princess.

The Facebook group has helped me so much with learning about the Princess, and some of the ins and outs. I feel like by the time I get to Disney, I'll know what I'm doing, where I'm going, and I'll feel comfortable in myself to be able to enjoy myself and the race. I'm really hoping to meet some of the Princesses I've talked to on the group. The support on that page is simply amazing, and that's just behind a computer screen. The way that some of the veteran Princesses explain how the race goes makes me know that I definitely won't be alone in this race. It's going to be absolutely amazing, and so awesome, and I really, really can't wait. :)

I hope Jeff is ready too. He's going to be my running man, lol. I told him I would like to see him in Magic Kingdom as I run through the castle, and then at the finish line. All he's got to do is take the monorail.. I have to run it hahah. Maybe that'll guilt trip him. Just kidding! But I would seriously love to see him, and have him see me really doing it. I'm hoping we'll have a video camera by then. It would be great to have some of the race on video, and to be able to look back on it and see how awesome I did! :)

Okay... off to relax and kick my little brother's butt in Mario Kart hahaha. Until next time, Princesses.. :)

oxoxoxo.

Just keep swimmi...err... running! :)

Week 2 Day 3 kicked my butt. It is getting easier with the breathing, but since I'm also cross training, my calves are killing me. Ah well, day by day, I know it'll get better. This is just the worst of it. :)

So... we're officially booked for the race! We're staying at All Star Movies, and though we never stayed at a value resort, I'm excited to see how it is. It's like it's official now.. there's no backing out now! I mean, I know technically, if we had to, we could cancel. But I want to keep in my mind that there is no backing out, so that I can't slack off on training. There's just about 203 days left until the race, and I keep getting more and more excited. Especially now, since we're booked, I can start planning our trip. We are planning on going into the parks a couple of the days that we're down there. I wanted to go to the parks after the race, but I figured that all I'm probably going to want to do is grab a bite to eat and hit the sheets for a little bit afterwards. Then, if I have the energy, we'll just go to the boardwalk, or resort hop, since we didn't have the chance to do it on our last trip. But until then, I'm just going to focus on the race itself. :)

I posted a poll on my Facebook page, along with the Disney's Princess Half Marathon group page to see what Princess I should dress up as ... and Snow White won by a landslide (not that big of one..just thought that called for a dramatic announcement lol)! So I'm starting to get things together for my costume. I found the sneakers I want, I contacted someone about a custom tutu being made for me, and then I have to figure out what I'm wearing on my head lol. Then after I shed more pounds, I'll go shopping at Dicks or something and get myself the running gear I need. Ahhh I'm so excited! I really can't wait to cross that finish line and have a medal placed around my neck! :)

I can't say it enough how happy I am that I came across this 1/2 marathon. This is something I'm looking forward to so much! My focus is on getting healthier and crossing the finish line, and my training .. although putting me through a little pain (which I love lol), my endorphins are going crazy. I'm energized, and happy. HAPPY. I love that word. And yes, I do have my bad days, my off days... but who doesn't? I just love how all of this is making me feel, and I will continue to keep kicking my own butt to keep feeling this way.. and then.. the biggest and best feeling of all - will be when I cross that finish line... and I'll finally feel accomplished! I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions that are going to come over me when I do this run. Just thinking about it makes me light up! :)

Alright, enough babbling for now.. I need to go finish the laundry, and grab my protein shake. :)

Until then, my fellow Princesses... have a great weekend! :)

oxoxoxo.

Running with Glass Sneakers.... alone?

Yep, that's right. Alone. Amie backed out. I honestly knew it all along. She has so much on her plate, and it just never ends. So it looks like this Princess is on her own ...at least until the starting line. I'm sure I'll befriend a few more princesses. We'll see. :)

I have about 208 more days until the 1/2. And today was the first day in a week that I ran. I didn't do the C25K.. I did Amie's regimen, and I honestly was out of breath the ENTIRE workout, weight training included. I felt like it was the first time I ever stepped into a gym. But I know it'll get better, and I know I'll get better. Tomorrow is back on the C25K app, and spending my days at the gym. :)

And although I haven't ran in a week, and it really hurt me to do it today, last week was so worth it. But now I have to get back on the grind and start losing weight and training again. I hate the restart, though it's completely my fault that it happens. *sighs* Why can't women have the luck of men and just lose weight standing there? It's so unfair! Ah well, working for it makes the result better I guess.

Alright.. short post... I have some dishes to do, then wait for Jeff to get home so I can hit the sheets and rest up for tomorrow's session. Until next time, fellow Princesses! :)

oxoxoxo.

Week 2 = pushing my limits.. whew.

So it's week 2, day 1 of my C25K, and holy... crap.

Training for the Princess is going to be a lot harder than I thought. But one step at a time..I'll get there. :) Moving on.. I think this post is going to be a little more personal because I need to remind myself where I am, and where I was, and what I'm working towards.

5 1/2 years ago, I was diagnosed with one of life's biggest obstacles : Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. At the time, I didn't realize how much my life would change, and how much having PCOS would affect every single aspect of my life. I was always athletic, and fit. I played sports my entire life. I was always doing extracurricular activities. My body never really regulated itself, but it was always told to me that it was just me being so active. Then I moved in with my husband in 2004, and within a year, I gained around 100lbs. I didn't change my eating, or anything of the sort. After being diagnosed, I realized that it was the PCOS that made me gain the weight. I started treatments because Jeff and I wanted to start a family. I went through rigorous testing, was at the doctor's office every other day for 2-3 weeks at a time. Oral medication never worked on me, so we tried injections. We even went through a cycle where we were able to try to get pregnant, but on July 4th, 2009, it failed.

I went through depression, and emotional hell. I felt alone, even when people were around me. I wasn't happy. My marriage almost went up in flames. My friendships were dissolving. I couldn't focus on my job. I freaked out everytime I heard the word baby, or pregnancy, or read it somewhere online. I cut people out who I knew were pregnant. Because no one understood. If you're not dealing with infertility, you have no idea. You don't know how it feels for your body to fail. To not be able to do the one thing that a woman is supposed to do. I felt incomplete. I still do. I hit complete rock bottom. And it took me a long time to get to where I am today. I realized I couldn't give up. I couldn't give up on my family, my friends, my husband who has been my rock though all of this, but most important.. I couldn't give up on me. I have always known that I was put on this earth to be a mother. I deserve to be a mother. I know I would be a damn good one.

So here I am, working through my pain. Working through my hell, to fight for what I want. I still really can't handle being pregnant or just having babies (just take a look at my hide list on Facebook). I've gone through miscarriages, and a loss of an adoption. I've gone through losing a lawsuit and not being able to cover my meds/treatments. And through all of this, I've realized my strength. I realize I can do this. I am a fighter. And I can't allow this disease to take over my life once again. I can't hit rock bottom again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of myself for being 40lbs down. I'm proud of myself for working my butt off to get myself healthier. But there will always be a part of me that will ask "Okay, how much longer do I have to wait until it's my turn?" "How much harder will I have to work to get my dream?" I know that I'm 40% closer to being where I need/want to be. And though I want a baby more than anything right now, I am focusing on me. I need to be selfish. I need to think about me, my health, my life. I want to be a healthy mom-to-be. I don't want to have to worry about being on medications or complications with anything. I want to be myself again.

I'm really happy that I came across the Princess. It gives me a goal. A focus. And when I cross that finish line, every single pound, every struggle, every day will come flooding back to me and make me realize what I've gone through to get there. And right then, at that moment, I know it'll be one of the proudest moments of my life. I'm proud of myself now. I'm proud of myself after training with the C25K, even though right after I feel like I'm going to fall over lol. I like the feeling of accomplishment. I love feeling great, and healthy and ...wait for it.... HAPPY. That never really happened that often for such a long time. :)

So I'm going to take it one day at a time. One training session at a time. And I'm going to run with all of the other awesome princesses. And I WILL cross that finish line. And I promise myself here and now.. that the Princess finish line won't be only finish line I will cross. I WILL have my dreams come true, and I will be a mom. One way or another, I will have my own to love. But for now, I need to learn how to love myself. I need to focus on the only one who really matters, right here, right now. Me. <3

And of course, I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of my supporters, my friends, my family, and my husband. Without any of you, I wouldn't be here, writing this. Thank you for the hugs, the encouraging words, the shoulders to cry on, and the ears to vent to. I love you all, and appreciate you beyond words. Thank you.

Time for this Princess to clean around the house, have a protein shake, and relax! :)

Until next time..

From my couch.. to Disney Princess Half Marathon!! :)

Okay, well I have to say I haven't written a blog post in a long time, so please bear with me. :) I'm starting this blog to track my progress as I make my way to my first ever 1/2 marathon - in Disney! For all of you that know me, know that I'm beyond addicted to Disney World. When I found out about the Disney Princess Half Marathon, I immediately decided to make it one of my weight loss goals, and here I am, running and training to cross that finish line.

When I started this weight loss journey, I didn't expect to be where I am today. I honestly thought that this would just be another one of my "things" where I get all motivated and determined for about 2 weeks, then fall off of the wagon and start living my old life again, eating bad, and not caring. But here I am, 7 months later, 40lbs down, and I'm still going. I think I get more and more proud of myself everyday that I stay on track. Of course, I've done what any person that is in the middle of changing her life will do.. I've fallen off course quite a few times. And I didn't think it would affect me, but it actually makes me feel like crap. Once I get back on, I start to feel great again. I think that's why I'm not giving up, or at least that's one of the reasons why I won't stop what I'm doing.

I hated myself. I hated who I was. I knew I needed to change it. So January 13th, I changed my life. I started eating clean, and working out. And now, 7 months later, I'm training for a 1/2 marathon! I can't believe it! This has been quite a journey, and I've realized recently that it really is a emotional and mental struggle. I've fought against myself so many times. This hasn't been easy whatsoever, especially with everything I have going on. But I've somehow did it. I've pushed through the obstacles, and have made myself better. I still fight with myself constantly, and I still can't stand to look in the mirror, because as they say.. you will always see the old you while everyone else sees the new you. I need to get myself past that fat girl I see in the mirror, and I will someday. But for now, I'm just going to focus on getting myself healthy, happy, and guaranteed to cross that finish line. I can't wait to have my dream come true, and to get that medal. It's going to mean the world to me, I know it. :)

Alright, enough of my babbling.. lol. I need to rest up, get some sleep, and get ready to start week 2 on my C25k! :) Until next time!

Oh..and here's a picture to show my progress in the last few months, and to remind myself of how far I've gotten.. and how far I will continue to go! :)